You were the only one I could stand to see when you blocked my light out, beauty in bed and boy I never broke (just bruised). I never learned the words for “I loved you like I never wanted to be the one you looked back on,”

like “I am the worst in us some nights,”

like “you’ll make me remember too,”

like “getting drunk on you is what did it all along,”

like “we play dead and I am bad but you never blinked,”

like “I wish I could walk away from me,” was a sonnet I penned on this skin in my sleep.

You will never know how sad I was those days, because big emotions don’t come from big words, they come from those tears you shed while I swallowed my nailbeds and glossed over truths pulled from fortune cookies. I am eloquent only in my silence, you are justified in your red rage. I am broken wings set wrong, perpetual bleeding heart of the one son, you are always running in regret.

How could it have gone differently.


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