Seek & Tune

hello

I am the print on the window. 

sing me white-knuckled at midnight

when the roads are sleek 

I still make the sign of the cross

kiss my fingertips

and clutch my nana’s rosary

never been in a big accident —

didn’t realize with all this adrenaline

I can hear the screaming of metal 

every second

it’s my teeth turned to diamond

it’s my eyes burning tar pits

it’s these things I’ve said and can’t drown out. 

is it fog or pink cloud? 

if you know you’re the only one who knows

I want to explain but with less visibility;

I want to admit I can be better

but the harshest critic’s smashing car windows

and stealing keys. 

I at least need to see the road. 

but what if I can’t

accept the way the radio never plays

any good songs anymore 

and no one else knows how to drive. 

stay in the car. 

lock the doors and roll the windows down. 

loved the smell of gasoline

til I turned up torn down

and drowning. 

buckle up or down. 

now I worry the battery’s dead. 

I know it’s new, but. 

if the battery was dead. 

I couldn’t do it but I can’t drive better. 

I don’t let myself park. 

it’s Christine or lightning, or a thunderbird 

I forget what I call this heart when I’m good,

when I’m bad I remember lemons. 

I gotta take a spin, I gotta drive somewhere

til I hear that whisper on the radio

even though they never play good songs anymore. 

maybe they’ll play one for me. 

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