I think I held you so tightly 

in my sleep

to press the memory of your body

into my very being,

which is what keeps me awake at night now. 

To love someone so much

that one wishes their new


should be dropped into the 

deepest center

of the 

Atlantic or Pacific

(I am not picky)

is a terrible rage to keep living for. 

Your best revenge is knowing 

it would be the gravest of sins

to allow you my presence

so I pluck the petals off my years:

she must love me,

she loved me never,

she loved me most,

I’ll never sleep again. 


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