I don’t need another

like I had, I need 

that something that

makes me write like I have

peeled back my fingernails

to unclot the ink underneath. 

That’s how you know. 

I don’t need you

but I want you

and the wanting is so much better, anyway,

any of my home movies can tell you:

I had this script in my stomach

and all her lines were in my pancreas 

but I dizzied my body to death 

on sorrow and sorries. 

I retched bile onto my

clean-pressed love scheme. 

I am someone new now. 

This is a new body for you to hold. 

No one has ever met this man, did you know?

I love myself enough now to let me love you,

I am done with the saboteur in my ripe young age. 

You have that laugh that tastes like

melting marijuana,

you push your hair behind your ear when I

hold your gaze and you smirk and look away

and I still watch you from behind my glass,

good god. 

Put a penny in the well,

wishing you’d think of me. 

Lit a candle,

pushed my prayers out the door on a breeze to find where you worry. 

I am not waiting,

I wait,

I am not paused,

I am present. 

Save me a dance 

the next night of your life. 

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